With great sorrow, we regret to inform you that unholy demon-spawn, Ke$ha (that’s pronounced “Key-Dollar-Sign-Ha”), has recorded a track with brilliant electronic singer/songwriter, Calvin Harris. The “singer” revealed in a recent interview in Digital Spy, that she spent some time in the U.K., and while there, recorded with Harris.

“I come to London a lot – I actually made some of the first records out here,” she said. “I love it here – I love the weather, the men and the unpredictability. I even made a track with Calvin Harris that has never seen the light of day.”

“It’s a great track – I’m sure we’ll release it one day,” said the lover of unpredictable men and weather.

Thankfully, the irreverent abomination sounds like it was recorded long ago, so perhaps it has been shelved indefinitely, with no chance of being unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting public.

Henceforth, we must plead that this hedonistic collaboration of pure evil is never released from the shadowy depths of hell, from whence it came. That being said, PLEASE CALVIN, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY IN THIS WORLD, DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.

That is all.