27 July, 2013@12:40 am
Remember that time when someone on the internet posted that “today” was the very day that Marty McFly had landed in the future in Back To The Future 2? And then several other people thought it was awesome, so they retweeted it, forwarded it, and reposted it on their timelines? And then, someone else on the internet decided to double check the scene in Back To The Future 2, only to find out the actual date hasn’t even happened yet? (It’s October 21st, 2015, for those keeping score).
Well, this week, something similar has happened. A site called CoCo.Fm posted the following article:
At a recent show in Paris the pop star, David Guetta, was forced to flee the stage in embarrassment when at the start of his show he hit the play button on the wrong track.
Instead of hearing Guetta’s usual pop-house hits, fans were inadvertently treated to a personal self help CD that had been prescribed to Guetta for treatment of crippling chorophobia – the irrational fear of dancing.
Guetta took to Twitter to release the following statement: “To all my fans, I’m sorry that you had to find out that I have been pre-recording sets and not playing live.”
“Please understand that this is not due to lack of talent or laziness but because of this crippling phobia, for which I am seeking professional help, as was heard when I accidentally hit play on my coping CD.”
The EDM star claimed that the condition developed in childhood following a dancing accident at a school talent show which left the performer “acutely embarrassed” and a “confirmed bed wetter.”
The pop star went on to further say that ordinarily he doesn’t “even look at the crowd. I’ll just twiddle some knobs on the mixing desk thingy. When I do have to look up to the crowd I’ll close my eyes as if enjoying myself, or I’ll let my golden locks dangle in front of my eyes so I don’t see people dancing.”
“Ironically with no-one dancing it probably would have been one of my shows that I would have actually enjoyed.”
The article went viral, reposted by many disgruntled DJ’s whom are mad that he *allegedly* plays a pre-mixed CD in his sets. The tone of the article is humorous and should have been the first clue to that it is a parody. We went ahead and double-checked his Twitter, and there is no statement. However his recent touring schedule, did see him playing in Paris on June 30th. But does anyone really think Guetta refers to a mixer as a “mixing desk thingy”, or would refer to himself as “a confirmed bed wetter?” Furthermore, if he put the wrong CD in, why wouldn’t he just hit “stop”, rather than “fleeing the stage”?
Why? Because people don’t read.
Whether or not Guetta plays a pre-mixed CD is irrelevant. People are there to see him. They like his songs, and part of that might even be your own fault for playing tracks like “Love Is Gone” or “Sexy Bitch” in your sets over the years. So fellow DJ’s, get over it. Sure, Guetta’s made a few cheesy pop tracks in his time, but he also made “Love Don’t Let Me Go (Walking Away)” and “The World Is Mine”. What’s your big contribution to society?
While the DJ game might be broken for a variety of reasons, a bigger societal problem are internet witch hunts, and that’s unfortunately exactly what this is.
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